Comics with Carol the lobbyist | One Nation, Thunder Dog

An outrage

TOMMY: We need to get out in front of this, Carol! Rep. Geminari's pledge of allegiance "mistake" is an outrage!
CAROL: Oh, I don't know…

TOMMY: She omitted "under God", Carol! It fits the "Democrats as Pontius Pilate" narrative!
CAROL: She just misread the teleprompter, Tommy.

TOMMY: She is attempting to unravel the basic fabric of Christian decency that holds this country together, Carol! It is as deliberate as it is sinister!

CAROL: Are you sure? She is my sister, maybe I should just call and ASK…
TOMMY: I will write this press release with my own blood, Carol!!

My opponent’s plans

LINDA: Grimm's right. The Repubs are gonna eviscerate us on this.
DEB: Oh, I dunno. Let me call my opponent and see what her plans are...

DEB: Hi Carol! How're YOU? Ha! Yes... Well, EXACTLY... Yes, OF COURSE... Ha! That's what I said! No, I hope so, TOO... Oh, I'd LOVE to! OK dear... talk to you later...

LINDA: Well?
DEB: You were right. On Monday afternoon, Carol will rip into us, right where the poop comes out.

DEB: But the good news is, she sent me fun new pictures of her GRANDKIDS!
LINDA: Comity is so WEIRD...

Press conference

TOMMY: OK, I have a press conference set up for this afternoon.
CAROL: Oh! I LOVE press conferences.

TOMMY: We need to frame the pledge mistake as an attack on religion.
CAROL: Let's get some of the local networks there.

TOMMY: I think our first step is painting her as an atheist.
CAROL: That K-LDR reporter, his mother hosts a talk show now.

TOMMY: Or at the very least a Unitarian.
CAROL: I could host a talk show... "Hello!" "HELLOOOOOO!!"

Force her to deny it

CAROL: Now wait, Debbie's not an ATHEIST. She goes to my CHURCH.
TOMMY: It doesn't MATTER! Force HER to deny it!

TOMMY: "Why have we never seen Rep. Geminari's CHURCH CERTIFICATE?"
CAROL: "Church certificate"?

TOMMY: "Where is the evidence she's not FORGED her church certificate from a foreign Muslim ATHEIST church?"
CAROL: No. That's not RIGHT…

CAROL: I think the Muslims call churches "MASKS"...
TOMMY: Don't worry, I'll look this all up on Wikipedia before I finalize it.

Press conference is now a protest

BUCK: Change of plans. Your press conference is now gonna be a protest.
CAROL: OK. What do I do different?

BUCK: Same speech. You'll just yell more.
CAROL: I should probably POINT a lot, too.

BUCK: Yes. Oh, and drop the pantsuit.

BUCK: Protests are strictly business casual.
CAROL: "HELLO! I'm Carol GEMINARI! I want to THANK you all for BEING here!"

On the way to the protest

BUCK: Carol, this is Ludwig, he's with the Tea Partiers. He'll be introing you at the protest.
CAROL: Thanks for your support.
LUDWIG: I support no one!

BUCK: So we'll open by calling Rep. Geminari an ATHEIST.
CAROL: Oh, will Deb be there?
LUDWIG: Demand to see her church certificate!

BUCK: Yes, we'll be outside her office.
CAROL: Oh, how NICE! I can return her crockpot.
LUDWIG: The revolution begins in the lion's den!

LUDWIG: Hey, can our folks set up booths to sell shirts and pins?
BUCK: Sure, I'll get the permit.

At the Tea Party protest

LUDWIG: Tea Party-ers, Tea Party-ettes! We are here to tell the Democratic Socialist House of Misrepresentatives, that WE WANT OUR COUNTRY BACK!

LUDWIG: Welcome our first speaker, a former Congresswoman and a solid conservative patriot, CAROL GEMINARI!
CAROL: THANK YOU! First, let me-

LUDWIG: Because she knows that this government is a CANCER on our sacred democracy!!
CAROL: Yes, WELL... which is why, today, we must-

LUDWIG: And we're here with her to declare that the people of this country are MAD AS HELL!!
CAROL: Shall I just... talk from back here then?

Ending the protest

CAROL: ...so we're here today, to tell Rep. Geminari that we won't stand idly while she and her Democrat cronies hijack our beloved nation! Thank you! And God bless America!!!

A pause.

CAROL: So... so that's it. Protest... over. You Tea Partiers can... can go home.

CAROL: Can... can anyone HEAR me?... My God, have I DIED? Am I a GHOST?!

An apology

CAROL: I just want to apologize for calling you an atheist last week, dear.
DEB: Oh, I understand. All's fair, I suppose.

CAROL: You know this next week we're painting you as "hobnobbing with lobbyists".
DEB: CAROL! What lobbyists do I "hobnob" with?

CAROL: Well... ME, Deb. We're hobnobbing right now.
DEB: Oh my, that IS true, isn't it?

CAROL: Yes, Tommy's in the bushes there snapping photos.
DEB: Hi Tommy! ... He's not waving back...