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Ramon the press secretary

A character featured in 4 comics.

Whither R?

Jan 19, 2010

TOMMY: FINALLY, we'll have nailed this atheist BITCH to the wall. RAMON: Yeah... You do know I'M atheist, right?
TOMMY: Are you? RAMON: I am. I'm GAY, too. For the record.
TOMMY: JESUS. Why are you a REPUBLICAN? RAMON: Hard to explain. I read an article in the National Review a few years ago that I liked.
RAMON: Now I guess I'm just sort of waiting out all the bullshit.

Calls about the pledge thing

Jan 25, 2010

TOMMY: Have we gotten any calls about the pledge thing? It'd be good to mention that in the press conference. RAMON: Not really, no.
RAMON: We got a few wrong numbers, plus a guy who calls daily in support of keeping the penny in circulation.
TOMMY: Hmm, might be time to lay down some astroturf.
RAMON: Oh, and AT&T made a very compelling offer to upgrade our DSL service. TOMMY: I wonder how much is in our budget for manufacturing outrage.

A damn truck

Feb 12, 2010

RAMON: The Dems are going "no drama", Tommy. BUCK: How hard are they pushing it?
RAMON: They just sent out a picture of her speedwalking. BUCK: This is our opening for the church certificate thing. Let's drive a damn TRUCK through it.
RAMON: You get some protestors? BUCK: Oh, I might've made a few anonymous posts on a few Glenn Beck fansites.
RAMON: Ugh... TEA PARTIERS? BUCK: Yes, Ramon... When you need to take a MOLEHILL and turn it into a MOUNTAIN of batshit... there's just no one better.

Out of hand

Mar 22, 2010

TOMMY: This is out of HAND. A guy is waving a pig fetus, in blackface, with a sign saying "Obama's birth was an inside job".
RAMON: The GUY'S in blackface or the PIG is? TOMMY: Does it MATTER? We just need to distance ourselves from this protest.
RAMON: We set UP the protest. TOMMY: No... No, no one can PROVE that. This was technically a GRASSROOTS event. We'll just condemn it.
TOMMY: Twitter a statement, Ramon. And use ALL CAPS. RAMON: My God... The NUCLEAR OPTION.

One Nation, Thunder Dog

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