Comics with the Media | One Nation, Thunder Dog

Big news

JEREMY: We could lead with Rep. Geminari flubbing the pledge of allegiance. It's in all the major blogs, sort of big news…
IRV: BLOGS??!

IRV: It's not news until it's on MY TV SHOW, Tran! It's not news until Irv Turner says so!
JEREMY: All right, well, we also have a piece about redistricting.

JEREMY: Yes, sir. I'll… Twitter them.
IRV: Oh good, yes, I think they'd like that.

More sizzle

IRV: OK, the pledge piece... We need more sizzle! More video!
BUCK: There's nothing there. She misspoke slightly, and immediately corrected herself.

IRV: Well, just edit together video to make it seem like HAS. C'mon!
BUCK: Sure. Some good old fashioned lying.

IRV: It's not "lying", Buck. We're an OPINION show.
BUCK: No deal, Irv. I have a Master's in Journalism. And I refuse to edit clips of the movie Flubber.

Real journalist

BUCK: OK, kid, we need to edit video of Geminari to make her look like a GAFFE-machine.
JEREMY: Ugh...

BUCK: Yeah, I don't like it either. But my name's not in the title.
JEREMY: Why d'you even WORK on this asshole's show, Buck? You're a real JOURNALIST.

BUCK: Well, at the last paper I was at, I had an editor who won a Pulitzer, and I'll never forget something he once said to me...
JEREMY: What's that?

BUCK: "This newspaper's closing. Find another job."
JEREMY: (Wow... a PULITZER.)

Credit my blog

JEREMY: I was wondering if it'd be possible to credit my BLOG on this story... we actually broke it.
BUCK: What a surprise. You have a blog.

JEREMY: I actually run, "Here Comes Everything". It's one of the most popular moderate political blogs running.
BUCK: Is it? Why do you work here then?

JEREMY: Well, I, uh, hope that by, y'know, working in the mainstream media, I can change the system from the INSIDE.
BUCK: Right. And?

JEREMY: And I only make $8.62 a month from my Google ads.
BUCK: Exactly. I'll credit your blog when it pays for your ProActiv cream, Jeremy.

Dog-based flubs

JEREMY: For the "One Nation, Thunder Dog" piece, I'm editing video to make it seem like Rep. Geminari OFTEN makes dog-based flubs of famous American quotes.

JEREMY: So far, I can make her say "life, liberty and the pursuit of PUPPY mess", "we, the POODLE" and "ask not if your country can pick up POO".

IRV: What about "free at last, free at last, thank God Almighty-"

JEREMY: "...bichon frise at last." Way ahead of you, but she doesn't quote KING much, and she rarely mentions FRENCH breeds.

Not much response

IRV: How's the pledge piece coming?
BUCK: Not much response from the Geminari camp, Irv. They're going "no drama".

IRV: How bad is it?
BUCK: They released a 35-minute video of her QUIETLY READING.

IRV: All right... well, let's double up on editing the video. She won't talk? We'll talk for her.

BUCK: So... just keep making up news then?
IRV: Well, if she won't issue any rash, reactionary statements, she gives us no choice.

Think bigger

IRV: Look, let's move past this as just a dog-based fumbling of the pledge of allegiance, OK?
JEREMY: But... that's what HAPPENED.

IRV: It's SMALL-BALL. We've got to think BIGGER. It's not a FLUB, it's a FREUDIAN SLIP. She's got a dog OBSESSION... She hates AMERICA... Maybe a dogfighting angle... Ooo, or BESTIALITY!

JEREMY: You're aware there's no proof of ANY of that.
IRV: Then you edit some VIDEO, and you MAKE some proof!

JEREMY: OK! I'll see what I can do!
IRV: You'll get her having SEX with foreign, terrorist, illegal immigrant DOGS by 5pm, and you'll LIKE IT!

A damn truck

RAMON: The Dems are going "no drama", Tommy.
BUCK: How hard are they pushing it?

RAMON: They just sent out a picture of her speedwalking.
BUCK: This is our opening for the church certificate thing. Let's drive a damn TRUCK through it.

RAMON: You get some protestors?
BUCK: Oh, I might've made a few anonymous posts on a few Glenn Beck fansites.

RAMON: Ugh... TEA PARTIERS?
BUCK: Yes, Ramon... When you need to take a MOLEHILL and turn it into a MOUNTAIN of batshit... there's just no one better.

Press conference is now a protest

BUCK: Change of plans. Your press conference is now gonna be a protest.
CAROL: OK. What do I do different?

BUCK: Same speech. You'll just yell more.
CAROL: I should probably POINT a lot, too.

BUCK: Yes. Oh, and drop the pantsuit.

BUCK: Protests are strictly business casual.
CAROL: "HELLO! I'm Carol GEMINARI! I want to THANK you all for BEING here!"

Government vs. politics

JEREMY: Irv, I can't DO this. Editing clips of this Congresswoman, painting her as something she's NOT... I mean, it's just, there's actual, REAL stuff going on in D.C. right now!

JEREMY: Why don't we report on GOVERNMENT, instead of just... POLITICS?
IRV: GOVERNMENT is about oversight hearings and appropriations requests.

IRV: POLITICS is about lying and fucking. It's NOT a hard call.

IRV: Now get back to work. I need video of her making love to a pack of Taliban labradors.