Comics with Buck the news director | One Nation, Thunder Dog

More sizzle

IRV: OK, the pledge piece... We need more sizzle! More video!
BUCK: There's nothing there. She misspoke slightly, and immediately corrected herself.

IRV: Well, just edit together video to make it seem like HAS. C'mon!
BUCK: Sure. Some good old fashioned lying.

IRV: It's not "lying", Buck. We're an OPINION show.
BUCK: No deal, Irv. I have a Master's in Journalism. And I refuse to edit clips of the movie Flubber.

Real journalist

BUCK: OK, kid, we need to edit video of Geminari to make her look like a GAFFE-machine.
JEREMY: Ugh...

BUCK: Yeah, I don't like it either. But my name's not in the title.
JEREMY: Why d'you even WORK on this asshole's show, Buck? You're a real JOURNALIST.

BUCK: Well, at the last paper I was at, I had an editor who won a Pulitzer, and I'll never forget something he once said to me...
JEREMY: What's that?

BUCK: "This newspaper's closing. Find another job."
JEREMY: (Wow... a PULITZER.)

Credit my blog

JEREMY: I was wondering if it'd be possible to credit my BLOG on this story... we actually broke it.
BUCK: What a surprise. You have a blog.

JEREMY: I actually run, "Here Comes Everything". It's one of the most popular moderate political blogs running.
BUCK: Is it? Why do you work here then?

JEREMY: Well, I, uh, hope that by, y'know, working in the mainstream media, I can change the system from the INSIDE.
BUCK: Right. And?

JEREMY: And I only make $8.62 a month from my Google ads.
BUCK: Exactly. I'll credit your blog when it pays for your ProActiv cream, Jeremy.

Not much response

IRV: How's the pledge piece coming?
BUCK: Not much response from the Geminari camp, Irv. They're going "no drama".

IRV: How bad is it?
BUCK: They released a 35-minute video of her QUIETLY READING.

IRV: All right... well, let's double up on editing the video. She won't talk? We'll talk for her.

BUCK: So... just keep making up news then?
IRV: Well, if she won't issue any rash, reactionary statements, she gives us no choice.

A damn truck

RAMON: The Dems are going "no drama", Tommy.
BUCK: How hard are they pushing it?

RAMON: They just sent out a picture of her speedwalking.
BUCK: This is our opening for the church certificate thing. Let's drive a damn TRUCK through it.

RAMON: You get some protestors?
BUCK: Oh, I might've made a few anonymous posts on a few Glenn Beck fansites.

RAMON: Ugh... TEA PARTIERS?
BUCK: Yes, Ramon... When you need to take a MOLEHILL and turn it into a MOUNTAIN of batshit... there's just no one better.

Press conference is now a protest

BUCK: Change of plans. Your press conference is now gonna be a protest.
CAROL: OK. What do I do different?

BUCK: Same speech. You'll just yell more.
CAROL: I should probably POINT a lot, too.

BUCK: Yes. Oh, and drop the pantsuit.

BUCK: Protests are strictly business casual.
CAROL: "HELLO! I'm Carol GEMINARI! I want to THANK you all for BEING here!"

How to act at the protest

BUCK: I want to go over how you Tea Partiers ACT at the protest.
LUDWIG: Sir, I don't CONTROL them. They're free to do or say what they want.

BUCK: CERTAINLY. I'm just talking about FOCUS. I'd hate to have too many messages MUDDLE things.
LUDWIG: Well, I can't promise that. We've got a LOT of problems with this government.

BUCK: (sigh) OK... I guess my real question is... how RACIST are these signs going to be?
LUDWIG: Oh, not too racist. A few Photoshopped PIMP HATS. That's it.

BUCK: GOOD, because I'd love it if we could keep it to just... fun, CARTOONISH racism.
LUDWIG: Oh, yes sir. No SWASTIKAS. Well... Bert's coming. Maybe ONE swastika.

Doing a remote

BUCK: The Tea Partiers are gonna protest Geminari. We should get out there with a camera, get some footage for tonight.
JEREMY: A REMOTE piece! A CREW!

BUCK: No, you go alone. Just take THIS.
JEREMY: This is just my IPHONE...

JEREMY: I'm filming it with THIS? SERIOUSLY? That SUCKS.

BUCK: Fake citizen outrage deserves fake citizen journalism.
JEREMY: Hey, wait... why did you have MY iPhone?

On the way to the protest

BUCK: Carol, this is Ludwig, he's with the Tea Partiers. He'll be introing you at the protest.
CAROL: Thanks for your support.
LUDWIG: I support no one!

BUCK: So we'll open by calling Rep. Geminari an ATHEIST.
CAROL: Oh, will Deb be there?
LUDWIG: Demand to see her church certificate!

BUCK: Yes, we'll be outside her office.
CAROL: Oh, how NICE! I can return her crockpot.
LUDWIG: The revolution begins in the lion's den!

LUDWIG: Hey, can our folks set up booths to sell shirts and pins?
BUCK: Sure, I'll get the permit.

Piece on the air

BUCK: Well, you got your piece on the air.
JEREMY: My piece was about violence between Congress and anti-government protestors, Buck.

JEREMY: Irv's doing 22 minutes on a Congresswoman flubbing a meaningless speech and a protestor tripping on a dog.

JEREMY: I thought I worked for a political opinion show... Turns out I work for Washington's Funniest Home Videos.

JEREMY: (sigh) I wish I could hit IRV in the crotch with a bat...
BUCK: Wouldn't work. He's smooth down there.