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Tea Party

A topic in 13 comics.

A man and a dog

Apr 15, 2010

LUDWIG: Hey!! It's the atheist Congresswoman's atheist dog!
LUDWIG: You communist traitor! Keep your hands off my guns! Stop killing babies! We're a Christian nation! Obama = Hitler!!
A pause.
Sound: Pet pet pet

Great footage

Apr 6, 2010

JEREMY: He screams, then lunges, trips on her dog and falls before he hits her.
IRV: Well, this is great footage.
IRV: But cut out the CONTEXT. Just show him tripping...
JEREMY: But that's the STORY! "Crazy Tea Partier attacks congresswoman"!
IRV: Nonono... the STORY is: FAT GUY trips on CUTE DOG. Ooo, in fact, let's do a retrospective on fat guys falling throughout history.
JEREMY: But... this is a POLITICAL show.
IRV: Fine... POLITICAL fat guys... But work in Jack Black.

The lunge

Mar 23, 2010

DEB: You there! Please get your Tea Party folks away from my rose bush!
LUDWIG: It's the atheist Congresswoman! SIC SEMPER TYRANNIS!
LUDWIG: AUGH!!
DEB: Oh my, I think you may've broken your ankle, dear...
LUDWIG: Keep your socialist ObamaCare hands off me!
DEB: OK. Can I call an ambulance?
LUDWIG: Just leave me BE! Let... OW! ... Let the free market do its work!

Out of hand

Mar 22, 2010

TOMMY: This is out of HAND. A guy is waving a pig fetus, in blackface, with a sign saying "Obama's birth was an inside job".
RAMON: The GUY'S in blackface or the PIG is?
TOMMY: Does it MATTER? We just need to distance ourselves from this protest.
RAMON: We set UP the protest.
TOMMY: No... No, no one can PROVE that. This was technically a GRASSROOTS event. We'll just condemn it.
TOMMY: Twitter a statement, Ramon. And use ALL CAPS.
RAMON: My God... The NUCLEAR OPTION.

In your backyard

Mar 21, 2010

JEREMY: Rep. Geminari! I'm with the Irv Turner show, can I have an interview?
DEB: Um... sure.
JEREMY: What's your reaction to this Tea Party protest in your own backyard?
DEB: I respect them. The Constitution gives us the right to assemble.
DEB: And I-- HEY! Those little bastards just trampled my PANSIES! You there with the swastika! MOVE IT!
JEREMY: How do you see the role of the State in citizens' lives?
DEB: If they touch my damn AZALEAS, the State's ROLE is gonna be to kick some libertarian ASS!

Low profile

Mar 20, 2010

LINDA: Wait... DMG's not with YOU?
GRIMM: The congresswoman told ME she was with YOU reviewing highway funding proposals.
LINDA: GAH! She's outside talking to Tea Party protestors...
GRIMM: That doesn't sound like keeping a low PROFILE, Linda! Go GET her!
LINDA: On it...
GRIMM: Jesus CHRIST...
GRIMM: Politics would be so much easier without politicians.

Ending the protest

Mar 19, 2010

CAROL: ...so we're here today, to tell Rep. Geminari that we won't stand idly while she and her Democrat cronies hijack our beloved nation! Thank you! And God bless America!!!
A pause.
CAROL: So... so that's it. Protest... over. You Tea Partiers can... can go home.
CAROL: Can... can anyone HEAR me?... My God, have I DIED? Am I a GHOST?!

Filming the protest

Mar 18, 2010

TEA PARTIER: You with the camera! You some kinda BLOGGER?!
JEREMY: NO! I mean, YES, I am, but I work for the Irv Turner show!
TEA PARTIER:: All right, well... Irv's a good man.
JEREMY: He can be, yes. Anyway, I'm here to shoot a remote piece about the protest.
TEA PARTIER:: Son, you've got a Flip camera, and no crew. It's not a "remote piece". It's b-roll.
JEREMY: Well, I-
TEA PARTIER:: Now get a shot of me with my "Bela Pelosi" poster... Here, I'll pretend to yell...
JEREMY: (sigh) FINE...

A tough Democrat

Mar 16, 2010

GRIMM: Rep. Geminari, you cannot talk to the Tea Partiers. You'd be ripped to shreds.
CHAR: I think you underestimate me.
DEB: I'm a tough cookie. I can handle myself at a protest. What if I just go out there, look them in the eyes...
DEB: And explain to them that the Stimulus Package is not an enormous expansion of government largesse, but an aggregation of temporary projects designed to triage an ailing economy.
GRIMM: They would disembowel you and sell your bloodied pantsuit on eBay.
DEB: But I'd be SHOUTING it... Or at least raising my voice.

At the Tea Party protest

Mar 15, 2010

LUDWIG: Tea Party-ers, Tea Party-ettes! We are here to tell the Democratic Socialist House of Misrepresentatives, that WE WANT OUR COUNTRY BACK!
LUDWIG: Welcome our first speaker, a former Congresswoman and a solid conservative patriot, CAROL GEMINARI!
CAROL: THANK YOU! First, let me-
LUDWIG: Because she knows that this government is a CANCER on our sacred democracy!!
CAROL: Yes, WELL... which is why, today, we must-
LUDWIG: And we're here with her to declare that the people of this country are MAD AS HELL!!
CAROL: Shall I just... talk from back here then?

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One Nation, Thunder Dog

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