One Nation, Thunder Dog

Comics for America

One Nation, Thunder Dog

Comics for America

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#19. Think bigger

February 11, 2010

IRV: Look, let's move past this as just a dog-based fumbling of the pledge of allegiance, OK?
JEREMY: But... that's what HAPPENED.

IRV: It's SMALL-BALL. We've got to think BIGGER. It's not a FLUB, it's a FREUDIAN SLIP. She's got a dog OBSESSION... She hates AMERICA... Maybe a dogfighting angle... Ooo, or BESTIALITY!

JEREMY: You're aware there's no proof of ANY of that.
IRV: Then you edit some VIDEO, and you MAKE some proof!

JEREMY: OK! I'll see what I can do!
IRV: You'll get her having SEX with foreign, terrorist, illegal immigrant DOGS by 5pm, and you'll LIKE IT!

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#18. Not much response

February 10, 2010

IRV: How's the pledge piece coming?
BUCK: Not much response from the Geminari camp, Irv. They're going "no drama".

IRV: How bad is it?
BUCK: They released a 35-minute video of her QUIETLY READING.

IRV: All right... well, let's double up on editing the video. She won't talk? We'll talk for her.

BUCK: So... just keep making up news then?
IRV: Well, if she won't issue any rash, reactionary statements, she gives us no choice.

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#17. Full-court press

February 9, 2010

LINDA: OK, it's a full-court press this afternoon on this "no drama" thing, people. We're pushing a media narrative that Rep. Geminari "isn't worried".

LINDA: Let's get her in front of calm backdrops: Coffee shops, parks, long walks on the beach. A full relaxation media tour. But NO, I repeat, NO alcohol.

LINDA: All public statements should have a consistent, breezy language. Minimize hard consonants. And we need a personal trainer to work on her posture.

STAFFER: This is a lot of work to look like we don't care.
LINDA: That's because we DO care. Now... who knows a good smile consultant?

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#16. No drama

February 8, 2010

GRIMM: Ma'am, our polling is-
DEB: Let's... be BOLD here. Let's take the "NO DRAMA" approach. Let's not let them POLITICIZE this.

GRIMM: But at the very least we-
DEB: NO DRAMA!

LINDA: What's the "no drama" approach?
GRIMM: "No DRAMA"? "No DRAMA" means "IGNORE IT and hope it just GOES AWAY".

GRIMM: "No DRAMA" means "sit idly BY while decades of PROGRESS are HIJACKED by bitter right-wing IDEOLOGUES"!
LINDA: That's... pretty dramatic.

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#15. Dog-based flubs

January 31, 2010

JEREMY: For the "One Nation, Thunder Dog" piece, I'm editing video to make it seem like Rep. Geminari OFTEN makes dog-based flubs of famous American quotes.

JEREMY: So far, I can make her say "life, liberty and the pursuit of PUPPY mess", "we, the POODLE" and "ask not if your country can pick up POO".

IRV: What about "free at last, free at last, thank God Almighty-"

JEREMY: "...bichon frise at last." Way ahead of you, but she doesn't quote KING much, and she rarely mentions FRENCH breeds.

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